My husband and I toasted each other this week for our 44^th wedding anniversary, thousands of miles apart, me in Louisiana and he in Taiwan. Maybe because I was alone, I thought about the time we have been together and how our friends back then, if they had made a bet, probably would have bet against us, not so much because we were young (we were, but so were many marrying couples back then), but more because we hadn’t dated all that long and because, although we didn’t think so, we were incredibly immature. But I, for sure, was madly, madly in love.

Patti Hansen said recently on her 28-year marriage to bad-boy rocker Keith Richards: “What’s epic is that we’re still together. We made that commitment and stuck to it. But after so many years, there are still those qualities you fell in love with. They’re all still there.”

I’m not sure even 44 years is “epic,” but she’s right about “those qualities you fell in love with.” In my case, they would include how he is fierce about family (my mother told me to check out a potential husband by how he treated his own mother, and I couldn’t go wrong there); he always  supports me and what I want to do, even when he’s worried (like when I lost my job and the financial implications on retirement, but I wanted to take my chance on my own business again);  and, most of all, he loves to have a good time and he makes me laugh.

He doesn’t tell me every day he loves me, like American men do. But one day we were driving and listening to Emmylou Harris singing “If I Needed You, Would You Come to Me,” and he looked at me and said, “In a heartbeat.”

It may have been a gamble, but I won.

In this week’s The Core, I’m talking about getting organized and getting clutter under control. While I can’t stand certain kinds of clutter, like shelves full of dust-collecting knick knacks, I’m guilty of habitual organizational failure in some areas of my life. My top 3:

1. My desk. Despite file folders, file cabinets, desk-top and wall-mounted file holders, my desk has piles. Piles of potential Ripe Report content, piles of work for my freelance writing clients, piles of information related to the foster care children for whom I advocate, not to mention the miscellaneous pile which includes receipts, birthday and other greeting cards to send out and other stuff that doesn’t belong in some other pile. It’s not a total disaster, but it sure ain’t pretty!

2. Plastic containers. One of my lower kitchen cabinets houses my collection of plastic containers and lids. Some containers are lidless, some lids are containerless, but on the whole, it’s a big jumbled mess. It’s entirely my own fault because instead of bending or squatting down to put things neatly away, I open the door and toss them in.

3. Clean laundry. I’m very efficient about doing laundry, folding clean clothes, and distributing them to their rightful owners, except, that is, for my own clothes. Most of the time, they sit clean and folded in a laundry basket on the floor of my closet. Usually, I get dressed directly out of the laundry basket. Why don’t I take the final step and put them away?  I have no idea.

In Argentina, bonds last for life

I have lived in the small town of Rafaela, Argentina, all my life. I was born here, studied in public schools here, fell in love both with my husband and the languages here, married, and had two wonderful boys here.

When I told my parents in 1977 that I wanted to become a teacher of English as a foreign language, they thought I was mad. How could that provide a good living for me and my family here, in Rafaela? I started teaching very young kids at home and then traveling 40 miles a day to teach in a high school in another town.  In 1990, after teacher strikes, some businessmen started a bilingual private school, which I joined with much enthusiasm. The school opened my mind to new ideas and also gave me the opportunity to travel when, after several years, we began exchange programs and took our students to the U.S.

In 2007, I attended a seminar and learned how to set objectives and accomplish all the things you had always wanted to do. I decided that teachers needed the opportunity to do postgraduate studies, and three years ago I started a “Licenciatura” (similar to a master’s degree) here in Rafaela with 17 young girls, some my former students.

I got my degree in March 2011 at the age of 51!

Why I do what I do:  It’s the simple things that have motivated me to teach English as a foreign and second language for more than 30 years. Teaching has broadened my world with unexpected doors opening to new experiences; extraordinary people have taught me the different ways a kid learns; I have learned that teaching is the art of helping kids discover new things and new possibilities. I have travelled to many countries and learned about many cultures through literature, movies and music, and I can share these experiences and transform my students into explorers who can expand their own worlds.

 What I like most about Argentina: Besides the spectacular places and delicious food, what I love about Argentina is our strong, life-long friendships and strong family ties.

Once an Argentinean has given you his/her friendship, the bond lasts for life. We may not see each other for years, but we write, talk on the phone, and keep in contact. Facebook and e-mail now helps a lot. I do not know anyone in Argentina who does not love his/her school friends forever. Six of mine have become my extended family, like siblings, just as one of my American friends, Mary Anne Guerrero, has become my Big Sister.

Family is, for my generation, the center of a woman’s life. Argentineans generally do not move often and we live most of our lives in the same town or city, so we are close to our aunts, uncles, cousins and parents, and our kids and their families. Our roots are really strong.

Almost every Sunday is family day. We generally have lunch together – meeting to eat is part of our culture, like meeting for a drink or a cup coffee in other countries – and after lunch, we have long talks as “sobremesa” (dessert).  Kids learn table manners and listen to other people, both older and younger, share their experiences and thoughts.

What I like about American women: I like their commitment to their children’s education, their work, their country, and to charity. They are generally patient, tenacious and self-controlled.  I admire them for that. (more…)

According to the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America, Alzheimer’s disease is a progressive, degenerative disorder that attacks the brain’s nerve cells, resulting in loss of memory, thinking and language skills, and behavioral changes. It’s the most common cause of dementia, or loss of intellectual function, among people aged 65 and older, but it is NOT a normal part of aging.

Two recent studies shed new light on ways to prevent, treat or lessen the impact of Alzheimer’s:

• Findings from the Rush Memory and Aging Project, published recently in the Archives of General Psychiatry, show that having a greater purpose in life protects against the harmful effects of plaques and tangles on memory and other thinking abilities. (Plaques and tangles in the brain are associated with Alzheimer’s disease, but also occur in older people who do not have dementia.)
• A study published in the Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease found that Vitamin D3 may help the body clear amyloid beta (the main component of plaques associated with Alzheimer’s) from the brain. Previous studies have shown that a low serum level of vitamin D3 may be associated with cognitive decline. The next stage of research could involve clinical trials of Vitamin D3 on Alzheimer’s patients.

On safari: Former TRR spotlight Jenny Lombard and her husband are now adventuring  through eight African countries in safari vehicles, camping the whole way (with occasional refuge in lodges owned by friends). When they complete their journey in September in Harare, Zimbabwe, they will have covered more than 18,000 kilometers. To follow their trip, go to www.wilddogandgladys.blogspot.com.

The bonds of time: With one exception, my husband and I have not gone back to Australia to any of our high school or college reunions, and I have always loved hearing my friends talk about them. TRR reader Tillie Groves recently attended her husband, Mike’s, 50^th reunion of his undergraduate class of 1962 at Texas A&M University in College Station, Texas, and I asked her about it.

• Tell me a little more about the reunion: When Mike graduated from A&M, it was an all-male school with compulsory military Corps participation. The freshmen, who were assigned to units or “outfits,” were hazed as a part of the tradition and discipline. Mike’s outfit had about 40 freshmen, and 17 of those men attended the reunion. They had to learn to pull together to survive the hazing and that bond is still evident.
• What did you enjoy most? There were numerous activities during the 3-1/2 day event, of course, but I most enjoyed the “outfit” luncheon when the men started recalling stories about how they survived the hazing. To see these men laugh as they recalled those times and were transformed back into 18-year-old kids was special to share. Three of those men were in our wedding and we have stayed in touch with them and their families through the years.
• Who had aged the best – the men or the women?  I think the women of the “outfit” have aged a little better than the men. The ones who live in cities are probably more fashion-conscious than the ones from smaller towns, but everyone has a traditional style. (more…)

Your home doesn’t have to qualify for its own episode of Hoarders in order to be in need of some de-cluttering and organization. Raise your hand if:

• You have one or more piles of stuff lying around your house that you just can’t seem to tackle (oh yes, my hand is up).
• Entering your closet feels like a journey into dense underbrush requiring a machete, a torch and nerves of steel.
• Trying to find the correct lids to match the plastic containers in your pantry is more daunting than the search for the Holy Grail (my hand is up, again).
• Strangers passing by your car in a parking lot would assume that a family of 12 lives in that car.

Of course, identifying that you need to do some organizing is the easy part. It’s finding the motivation that’s often a challenge, as well as figuring out what to keep and what to purge. To begin, start small. Instead of taking on a whole room all at once, spend just 5-10 minutes sorting through the pile that bugs you the most. As a general rule, if something is useless or doesn’t bring you any sense of joy, get rid of it!

Having the right tools will make the process easier. Beyond giant trash bags and cardboard boxes for items you plan to donate, choosing the most functional and beautiful containers and organizers you can find may even make the process FUN (yes, I’m serious).  If you’re not inspired by what you find in your local stores, here are two sites to check out:

• www.themacbethcollection.com. These bins, boxes and other types of containers are beautiful enough to make you want to get organized.
• www.clevercontainer.com. If you’re having trouble finding just the right way to contain your clutter, your search is over!  Whether you need to organize your laundry room or bathroom, your car or your office, there are tons of hard-to-find options here.

Still need some help? These sites have a wealth of information: www.getorganizedwizard.com; www.getorganizednow.com; www.gettingorganizedmagazine.com. Good luck!